how to get a girls panties wet:
- kiss her roughly
- shove her down on the bed
- slip off her underwear
- slam dunk em in the toilet
I hate brushing my teeth at night because that signifies that you can’t have anymore food and I’m just never ready for that kind of commitment
I’ve decided I want to be cremated. Not when I die, just whenever. Surprise me.
One time in first grade I asked my teacher if I could drink water and she said to swallow my spit
what if virginity was actually a visible thing like when you have sex for the first time your virginity comes out of your ear in the form of a slug
o yea the 90s. the 90s were great. fuckin sick. raw as hell. learning how to speak. crying for no reason. shitting in my diaper
It cracks me up when the actors on a show are also the producers because I always picture them casting themselves like
"Who’ll play the main character? Ah yes. Me."
do you ever stop and think about how high school musical and breaking bad take place in the same town